When the Leaves Fall

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Why do I smile as I watch the leaves dying and covering the hills with their deadly red, orange and yellow hues of beauty? Why is the dry crispness of Fall warming to my heart?

Why the process of Nature emptying its fullness fills my emptiness? And the choreography of flocks against the grey skies, as they leave empty Winter days behind, brings back child like excitement to my being? For many, Autumn is the most beautiful of all, and yet it is when the leaves fall.

The wind hurries up, the Sun leaves earlier every night, but there is still place for beauty and for praise. Even in death. Because Winter is not the end, it is in fact the beginning of the most vibrant and alive Season. The seed needs indeed to die to bring forth fruit, for the old must give space to the new. 

The miracle of death bringing forth life. And why do I keep forgetting it? The message is everywhere, small pictures glimpsing from my window and reminding me of the most important truth: that to bring me life, My Savior, as the seed, had to die.

There is beauty even in death. Death that brings life, abundant life, "Because He poured out His soul unto death... and He bore the sin of many". (Isaiah 53:12)

A path of life, opened by the teared seed. "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy". (Psalms 16:11) An open path to God. Where else could I find joy? Fullness of joy?

I stand still staring at the open path. Open. Open all the way from my smallness insignificance to God's greatness glory. And yet why do I linger away? Why would I want to avoid fullness of joy?

And the psalmist reminds me "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations". (Psalm 100:4,5)

Slowly, thanksgiving, praises and blessings pour out of my soul, a river that flows out of my lips glorifying God. My heart empties itself... just to be filled again, with fullness of joy! A heart that dies to itself and yet receives abundant life. How could that be?

And yet, when I try to shine glory on myself, there is no fullness of joy, there is only an ugly heart growing harder by the hour. There is no river, no water, just dryness and thirst.

"We delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely express but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation... Fully to enjoy is to glorify. In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him." C.S.Lewis

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