How to raise children to be successful in marriage

Sunday, August 24, 2014

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"No, not until you're satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone..." read the poem.

I still remember how much those words impacted me, when I was in my early twenties looking around for my "prince" to make me happily ever after.

The text keept on saying: "with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me; to having an intensely personal relationship with me alone; discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be planned for you."

God. He was letting me know that no matter how perfect is the prince, there is no one on this earth that would fill a hole the size of God in my heart. And to place such a burden upon any one, would be unloving and selfish.

Ten happy years of marriage later, the message is as fresh today as the day I read it first. The secret for a successful marriage lays in becoming first and foremost completely satisfied with God and then from such a place of fullness of love and satisfaction, I can extend my love to my husband next, and then to my children, to my neighbor and to the world. 

True lasting love is not the same as a romantic passing fling. The first kind of love is a daily selfish-less choice, God centered, from an eternal perspective. The second, a transitory selfish feeling, self centered, from a narrow perspective.

The samaritan woman at the well was with her sixth partner and she was still thirsty. Statistics show us that the success of a marriage decreases with every next spouse. Only living water can fill the love tank up. 

In an age of consumerism, marriage has become another product for the sake of happiness seeking. Shop around for the best one, and if it does not work out, run back to the store and start shopping again. The more individualistic a society becomes, the more marriages fall apart. Because after all, it is all about me, right? 

That I may have the wisdom to teach my children that inside an entire universe, and inside an entire timeline that runs back and forth into eternity, they are not the center of either one. So why should they live their daily lives as if they were?

There is a center to the universe and there is a center to the timeline, and there is a center to which we should center our entire hearts around. And when God is at the center of two people lives, everything else falls into place, including their marriage. That is the secret to be successful in marriage.

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When losses keep overtaking the news

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

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The only way to grow up is to face loss. Loss of baby teeth, loss of baby smells, loss of toddler babbles, loss of toddler cute smiles, loss of childhood beliefs, loss of childhood hide and seeks.

Loss. As the clock tickles, losses abound. Lives, hopes, plans. The daily reminder that losses are happening, at the speed of light. Dead are all the cells that have been replaced. Gone are all the present moments that became only memories.

Mary. She knew about losses, life had been hard but now she had found the hope for all of her losses. Living water overflowing. But as she looks into the empty tomb, the emptiness inside her heart reaches a new level. Where had they placed him, her only hope? Emptiness, loss.

It hurts, deep inside. To stare at the emptiness of the loss, with nothing big enough to fill the void. How to go back to daily life, when every day, reminders will keep the pain awake? Mary's senses were overtaken by sorrow, she became blind to the one approaching, she became deaf to the one speaking.

It may take a while to realize that the same empty tomb is also the source of hope. Can you see the invisible? Can you picture a life beyond death? The presence of resurrection taking over the stage of death? Mary, move your eyes beyond the empty tomb! Mary, He is risen!!

There is hope in Jesus for every loss. The clock may not be feared anymore, the grain is going to die but there will be many fruits. The children are going to grow up, the clock will keep moving, losses will keep overtaking the news. Outside of resurrection, there is no hope. But He is risen! 

I lift up my eyes... my help comes from the Lord!

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