CHAPTER 2 (Part 2)
I hope someday to visit the place where my brother Pedro was born, the land that watched his arrival to the world. A location, in the center of Brazil, filled with natural beauties, waterfalls and abundant crystals under the soil. A place that saw lots of poverty too, but different from the one I see in the big cities. Something more like rural poverty, where the lack of resources is passed from generation to generation as an incurable disease. Nature regulates the good and bad seasons, keeping the families unable to change.
These days, that region receives many investors and also Eco tourists looking for a piece of intact Nature to visit, without paved roads, pollution or industries. This means new source of income to the natives, as tourists are willing to pay a lot to enjoy the kind of nature once available to anyone in the past, yet nobody cared. I am also part of this group. However, to appreciate the wild countryside is one thing; to have the knowledge and skills to survive it is something I have yet to acquire.
Having always lived inside a city environment, I have got used to crowded and confined living spaces. So when I leave the city to visit the country, I don’t know what to do with so much tranquility, space and silence! I feel like I would never be able to live without the pressure from some stress! Everybody complain about stress, but a lot of us can't figure out anymore how to live without it. If I moved to the country, to a peaceful spot in direct contact with nature, and yet without technology, I think I would get bored pretty soon. I may want such a lonely place to spend a few vacation days and rest, but it is hard to imagine staying there for a lifetime. It is not for everyone.
I consider nursing a profession that generates stress, as many others. However, nobody wants to be treated by a stressed out professional. The secret might be to transform the stress into fuel that pushes me forward, and yet not letting myself get overwhelmed by it. I think that a little bit of stress might be beneficial, as it motivates me to move faster towards my goals.
I try to imagine a life where it would not be necessary to depend on calendars, schedules, and clocks. It would be a life without worries, but also without a sense of accomplishment. When I leave the hospital after my shift, I look back and realize how useful I was. I was able to produce results and help someone.
To visit my brother’s homeland will be like looking back, traveling the opposite direction he did so long ago to join my family. I surely won’t gain from such experience, as much as he did making his trip, but I will be able to feel passing under my feet each mile he crossed, each one of them worthy. First for him, but much more for me, as everyday he gives me a reason to keep going. It is hard to find a meaning to live when you live a meaningless life.